Tis the Season for Political Stuff. My thoughts on Gay Marriage.

This is something that I've thought a lot about.

Gay Marriage: Where I stand on it, why, and how I came to that conclusion.

First off, I'm mostly for it being legal. But mostly, I want to ban marriage as a government institution and put in it's place Civil/Legal Unions. These things can have the same basic legal benefits as a current marriage. I'm okay with that.

Why? Because though marriage is a sacred institution(to me) between a man, a woman, and God(This being the most important part) Marriage is recognized as a basic right for all humanity in the United States of America. As such, I feel we do not have a legal right to object to gay marriage as a legal institution. BUT I very strongly feel that marriage is sacred. This is where disallowing marriage as a governmental institution comes in. Government interference has long deteriorated the sanctity of this holy ordinance. From making it easier to get divorced and now for the legal battle of whether gays have the right to be married.

 (On the divorce thing, I have not done enough research and I don't know enough to say whether or not it's better or worse in the long run but it has definitely cheapened what marriage is in society's view)

Continuing on: I personally feel and there are studying backing this up that children have the best chance of success throughout their lives if they have both a father and a mother in the home. In theory, having 2 parents is better than 1 whether or not they are of the same sex. This is why I would rather see marriage as it is today be allowed for a homosexual couple than completely disbanded as  a legal institution with no legal benefits for having a committed partnership. I feel it is better for society in the long run to encourage coming together to form a family rather than single parenthood.

(Don't get me wrong, I know some amazing people that have come from single parent households)

Marriage as a holy institution can and should live on. I have grown up in the Mormon church, we have always held special wedding ceremonies that specifically seal the husband and wife not just to each but to God. It is my belief(not a fact, just an assumption) that most Christian and non-Christian religions already do this. That is why they get married in churches. They want God in their relationship. People already get married in a courthouses or without religious intent this will not change that AT ALL; but here's the thing. In order for this to work there needs to be legal safety for a church to deny performing any marriage in their building. This is scary ground because it does allow the possibility of all kinds of discrimination. Because you have to allow for the right to deny anyone to allow for the sanctity of the marriage in the eyes of not only the couple, but frankly, also the parishioner who performs the marriage.

Here's the problems that I see. There's a lot of semantics involved here. Basically, gay rights activists will have "won." Which some people will have a problem with. Like I said, I feel that legally it has been defined as a basic right so as such cannot be denied.

Gay rights activists might feel like other party wins because we are redefining the legal definition of the words marriage. So technically...they aren't getting married.

My assumption is that the gay couples that wish to invite God into their relationship(which is weird to me but I'm sure it's bound to happen) will find a place that will accept them into their congregation and wed them. If not...well that could be a problem.

Is there anything else that I didn't see? Is this totally crazy? Is it too much of a compromise for both sides? Is it possible it could be deemed as a win win? I would really love feedback here. Share it with whomever you think would find this proposition interesting. It's not perfect, but it works in my head. With my views on life and my compassion for all people to find happiness and success in this life this is what I've come up with; so please, once again, talk about this with me, tell me if I'm crazy. Tell me if I'm smart(this is something I truly approve of)

This is something I've thought about while going along my Grand Adventure.

Sometimes I get asked questions..

So a friend of mine on facebook is doing some research(presumably for an assignment) and asked me some questions and here are my responses! First the Questions.

- Did you have performing arts experience growing up? If so, what did you do and when did you begin?
- Do you have a performing arts major (theatre, dance, music)? If not, do you plan on getting one? If so, in what?
- Could you list some of your experience?
- In your opinion, what top 3 things contribute to success in an individual pursuing performing arts? What do you consider to be success?

The closest thing to performing experience I had growing up was the primary programs in church. Though my mom did make me sing a solo in church once. I hated her for it.
I did start in 8th grade with my mom forcing me to take a drama class. Once again I hated it, but my friends that I made in that class did convince me to try out for the musical that year. I LOVED IT. So I did my first show my 8th grade year continued doing it my 9th grade year. Got into my first community show that summer.

 I do not have any schooling or education in theater, I want to teach it someday since I love it though so I want to get whatever it takes for a theater education degree.

Some of my biggest/favorite parts I've played are Adam in the Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged at UVU, Mr Mushnik in Little Shop of Horrors at the Scera, Fakir in Secret Garden at, Mr Pinky(and various other characters) in Hairspray, and Topper in Chrismas Carol all at the Hale Center Theater Orem. In total I've done 30 shows most of them being Chorus roles. I've also had some directing experiences at Lakeridge Junior High School and as a coach for their Shakespeare Team.

The 3 most important things in my success in theater are passion for the art and the joy it brings me. Honesty and the ability to bear my soul while performing; and finally, God given talent. Most things in theater can be learned but there are some things that you just need to be incredibly talented to do.

I consider success in theater in varying degrees. First degree, am I enjoying it? Is it worth my time? Second Degree, am I growing and progressing? Third, if you're talented enough are you getting paid for it? Can you live doing this?  Success is defined by what you want out of theater. For me, I LOVE it and I love the growth that theater puts me through and I'm making some money so that I can justify my time spent doing it fiscally as well as emotionally.

I just hadn't thought about these things like this before. This struck me as something awesome. For anyone that has read much of my blog you might understand how important theater is in my life. Here's the biggest thing about theater for me. I'm crazy, I have self hatred and the self doubt to rival anyone put on this earth, as such, having people PAY money to come see me do something I love and APPLAUD me for it. It's very good for me. It gives me a sense of confidence to out into the crazy world and try things that without that confidence I wouldn't ever do. Like talk to people. This blog serves much the same purpose, by letting my brain vomit out into the world to see that people either enjoy it, sympathize with me, or are feeling the same things it's comforting. 

Things that make me giggle/happy.

Winning, seriously, If I'm ever doing amazing at a game, I start giggling.

People from Russia like my blog. Russia provides my blog with the 2nd most visitors(Though it's not quite close 5400 to 84.. COME ON RUSSIA, GET YOUR GAME ON!)

Russia is ahead of #3 Germany by 44 though, so go Russia!

UK and Canada come in at #'s 6 and 7. Come on English speaking countries, represent!

For the first 2000 page views(so like the first 2 1/2 years) Firefox had a 90% usage rate. Now they're at a declining 21% to Chrome's 65%.

The fact that people from over 12 countries have at least visited my blog. This makes me giggle.

People imitating my giggle, makes me giggle. Seriously, I have a funny laugh.

I make me giggle, I'm freaking hilarious.

Dumb people, when they do dumb things.

Boys acting like girls, this makes me giggle.

Dungeons and Dragons, the idea of it makes me giggle.

Playing it makes me so happy I giggle.

Attempting to adopt a Kobald as a pet while playing Dungeons and Dragons makes me giggle. (It's name was gonna be peggy, cuz he/she/it had a peg leg, someone killed her and made me very sad.)

The fact that when I play Dungeons and Dragons I'm a NINJA HALFING...That doesn't know how to Ninja. Seriously, missed a sleeping bear. I WAS STANDING OVER IT. It's cool Kane, someday you'll get this Ninja thing down.

My cat is crazy, this makes me giggle.

Torturing my cat in a very nice way that she doesn't like makes me giggle. (Nothing inhumane, but she is a punk and needs to know who's boss)

My t-shirts make me giggle. I have funny t-shirts, if you know me you know the truth of this statement. If you do not know me, we shall become friends and you will come to learn the truth of this statement.

Using big long unnecessary words makes me giggle.

Politics makes me giggle in a depressed sort of way. It's so SILLY and yet we're deciding who will lead our country, towns, and states. SILLY

My friends make me giggle, so much.

The word giggle makes me giggle.

The thought of midgets and monkeys makes me laugh. EVERY TIME. There's not even a picture associated with it in my head, just the two of em together makes me GIGGLE.

Being in a play, makes me giggle.

Acting like a girl makes me giggle.

Acting gay makes me giggle

Taking on the persona of Senor Fuego the Flaming makes me giggle. (An over the top gay stereotype impersonation of a Spanish Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast... I got bored back stage one day, okay?!)

The idea of me being mature enough to be in charge of even Junior High Students(Hence why El Fuego even exists)

The rememberence of when I was in another city in charge of junior high students. Don't worry, I did NOT have a heart attack, I call this winning which again makes me giggle.

This joke makes me giggle. A blonde walked into a bar and said ow.

This joke makes me giggle. An infinite number of blondes walk into a bar and say ow. ow ow. ow. ow. ow .ow .ow .ow .ow .ow .ow. ow. ow.  FOREVER <--- ME GIGGLING RIGHT NOW

Watching plays makes me giggle

Being in love makes me giggle.

Being in like makes me giggle.

Being twitterpated makes me giggle.

Having a show crush makes me giggle.

Pretending like my show crush is fake and ACTUALLY having a crush on said show crush makes me giggle.

Having an actual fake show crush makes me giggle.

Having a fake show crush that I pretend is real makes me giggle.

When a pretty girl smiles at me, I giggle.

When a really good friend winks at me I giggle(Male or female, let's be honest here)

Sticking my tongue out at random strangers makes me giggle.

When the stranger's child sticks their tongue out at me and gets caught by there parents I giggle.

Pretending the child started it makes me giggle.

Dancing makes me giggle.

I'm still giggling about that blonde joke.

OW. OW. OW. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Giggling again.

Pretending to hit on/hitting on one of my married friends jokingly. (Once again, let's be honest. Male or Female)

Trying to hold hands with my best friend Zack interdigitated style.

^_^ <--- THIS SMILEY! The story of how I found this smiley also makes me giggle!

Story time! Once upon a time I did this thing called playing World of Warcraft. I can't say that I was ever addicted to it, but I had fun. and I met this random person because well... I was being me. In Barrens chat. The place where noobs go to pretend they know what they're doing and for the people that know what they're doing to act like noobs. As such, I was in no man's land between knowing what I was doing and TRYING to act like a noob. (It's more fun that way) and I made a friend! We got know each other really well over the next few weeks. It was weird! But she was awesome, she was a stay at home mom with a new born and she got bored so we became good friends because there's an endless list of things that make me giggle. But moral of the story, she taught me that smiley and it's kind of changed my life. It's a smiley that's pretty much unique to me(and her). I never see anyone else use it! I love it! It makes me giggle ^_^

And last but not least, in fact, the very thought that inspired this entire post! (AND which I left off of the first go round) The fact that I had a visitor from both North and South Carolina within 24 hours of each other!

There's a million more things that make me giggle that I can't think of at the top of my head. But here is a pretty complex list of things that make me giggle. Maybe some of my gigglings will make you giggle too!

De Liebster Award

  So I was nominated for this award by Jeannie at One Wish Short of Paradise. Which is cool, I'm glad she enjoys my blog ^_^ Her friendship means a lot to me!

Some basic facts about the Liebster Award. Liebster means dearest in German. It's meant to highlight newer bloggers. Anyone with less than 200 follorwers. Some fun thoughts about what I could find about it's origins. It was original spread to 5 people(these things interest me)and there were no questions involved. But it's cool, so I'm still gonna do it!

Here are the basic rules to the game.

• Each person must post 11 things about themselves. 
• Answer the questions the nominator asked, and create 11 questions for your nominees to answer.
• Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
• Go to their page and tell them.

• No tag-backs. (You tagged back! I'm telling mom!)  

11 things about my self will either be way too hard or way too easy. Depending on what I feel like sharing today. (I'm not good at sharing things about myself)

1. Surprise! I do LOTS of theater! (You would never know that, because I never ever write about it on my blog. Right? (If you didn't get it, that was a little bit sarcastic; but! It's such an important part of who I am that I have to right it down which is something you may not have actually known.)

2. I strive to live my life like a 4 year old in all but dependency, but my mom is so awesome that when I do achieve a 4 year old's dependency she'll still take care of me. (Also, I try to avoid a 4 year old's hygiene)

3. I love people. I talking to them, I love sitting away from people just listening to them. I love sitting so far away from people that I can just watch them. I love hugging them, I love just being near people, I love watching people do stupid things, I love watching people astound me, I love when sometimes I see a girl and I'm literally dumbstruck by how gorgeous she is(happens more often than you'd think!)

4. I love playing dress up, either in costumes or just getting dressed really nice. I love looking good. When I dress up fancy I look in the mirror everytime and say, well flinkers Justin you look good

5. I enjoy making up swear/curse/interjection/expletive words.

6. I talk to myself. A LOT. I talk to myself in different accents(that's when it gets embarrassing because then it's out loud) Sometimes I have conversations with myself, which also merits responding out loud at times. My brain never stops going.

7. I'm thinking always. Unless I'm exhausted, in shock, or doing something that completely deadens my brain(like video games. Oh blessed video games without you I would go crazy)

8. I HATED English class, which is weird because I love reading, I've now learned I love writing, and I'm a perfectionist so you think I'd enjoy knowing all the rules so that I don't look a fool in front of other people.

9. I am a deeply emotional person but unless you're incredibly close to me you may never actually see it other than when I'm on stage.

10. It's a big thing if I cry more than one tear. I can count the times I've shed more than one tear in the last 5 years on one hand.

11. I hate normal swear words, not because I'm offended by them but because they make people look stupid. People use them wrong! It's annoying! Swear words are expletive because they are words of power! But if you don't care about the holiness of sex WHY do you use the f word? What does it matter that you're referring to planting seed?! (Just so you know, when I hear the f word used I automatically insert the phrase planting seed...if I ever laugh at you for using the f word. You now know why) People have cheapened swear words to the point where they are no longer offensive so that makes their use obnoxious, unintelligent and grammatically incorrect. That is why I feel they make people look stupid. Also, I enjoy the fact that whenever people hear me swear(especially if I ever swear at them in anger) people are shocked and astounded by the way I use them.

Now it's time for Jeannie's questions for me!

1 If you could be an animal you would be?

Eagle, I LOVE EAGLES. Also, Dragon would be more preferred over than. Second Gryphon, then eagle. Eagles in my mind represent power, beauty, grace, and freedom.

2. Why do you blog?

Because everyone else was doing it! (Seriously, that's why I started my blog) I continued because I had things on my mind. Remember the I'm always thinking thing?(see #7) This gives me a place to put those thoughts down so that I can stop obsessing over them in my head. 

3. Favorite piece of furniture (and it can't be your bed!)?

My bed actually isn't my favorite piece of furniture. I don't enjoy sleeping I wish I didn't have to do it. I like my couches though, they're comfy. 

4. What is your signature dance move?

Probably the Tango...Okay, maybe not. I'm gonna go with pelvic thrust.

5.Character in a movie/book you related to most?

Can I go with all of them? I read books because I see myself in the main character. From Bilbo's curmudgeonness and desire for a warm bed and bacon to Rand Al'Thor's desire to just do good despite the fact that he's destined to be the world's destruction and, in his death, it's savior. (The Hobbit and the Wheel of Time series)

6.Number one place you never want to go?

I can't think of anywhere I never want to go. There's beauty in all places and in all things. All of it is God's creation.

7. Worst fashion mistake of all time?

My everyday wardrobe? Maybe? Haha, I don't give a lick to fashion, if I can say to myself before I go out I look good then it doesn't matter what other people think of me. 

8. Favorite word?

THERE ARE TOO MANY GOOD ONES! I love words, there are so many fantastic words in this world. That's why I love theater, poetry, and most especially literature! The way some authors can paint entire worlds with just words astounds me! I love all words and Shakespeare was perhaps the greatest wordsmith of all time. 

9. Guilty pleasure? 

Theater! Haha, I devote myself to it every day of every year. If I could be happy without theater I would have so much more time to devote myself to more "productive" things, but theater is my life and I would want it no other way. 

10. Thoughts on breakfast?

Don't enjoy it, I love love love love love love breakfast foods. I don't like eating in the morning though.

11. If you were a tree, what tree would you be?

I'd be the burning bush? Is that blasphemous? Seriously though, I love fire. But I would be an out of place giant one sitting atop a lonely mountain with a view of the entire world.

Now it's YOUR 11 questions!
1. Favorite mystical/mythical animal?
2. Favorite place
3. Most random childhood memory
4. What is something about yourself that you're proud of?
5. What is something awesome about yourself that I may not know?
6. Favorite number.
7. What are your feelings on the matter of cheese? 
8. Favorite book or series, if not possible favorite genre.
9. A quote you love?
10. Someone you look up to in history
11. Someone you admire in present day?

So... I don't read 11 blogs. But here are the blogs I DO read.
Jeffe at Jeff's Thoughts and Stories
Jenfer at Only a Little Sugar Coated
Mellen at One in a Mellen
Mary at For What We Can Not Understand
(I also read Jeannie Leigh Jones, whom was mentioned in the beginning of this blog. But I can't "tag her back" I'll get in trouble.)

Graduating/Shabblefrack

 Once upon a time, I was in therapy. I say was because I...graduated? It was kind of funny going in for my last session. We talked about how I'm not completely better, I could still work towards a life without my BIG anxieties.(Y'know, the ones that make me feel like a terrible person.)He and I both felt that I showed incredible improvement from when I started therapy. I honestly feel like I'm not in a constant state on anxiety.  Yes, I still get anxious, but I get anxious rather than my anxiety level rising to unbearable levels and my body shuts down.(along with my brain and emotions) So basically, I've gotten better though I won't ever be "cured."

In an effort to make sure I stay in my improved more healthy state of mind, we also talked about looking at life through a different lens. Rather than starting on the inside, from where I feel my self worth is, look at the things I've done from an outside perspective. Let my actions define my self worth rather than my perceived blown out of proportion view of the world.

 (For those of you not aware, basically I'm really good at accepting people for who they are, their flaws, and their amazing goodnesses(totally a word)  Myself? I hold myself to a higher standard while placing myself below everyone. As such, someone else does something stupid I look at it in an almost condescending way and say that's okay. I do something stupid? I become the most terrible person in the WORLD. Truth. Well...that's what my head says. )

So now, we continue with the last words of advice. Don't let my blown out of proportions be my looking glass. Find a different perspective to look at. Specifically for me, this is in regards to self worth. Because based on observations and hints from my friends. I have reason to believe I might be an awesome guy. This is surprising to me because clearly, I am the most terrible person in the world. He even gave me a a nifty worksheet for me to right my crazy down on and then find a rational response to what just happened. Unfortunately I'm still working on even identifying when I have one of those crazy thoughts; but I'm getting it!

This is kind of an amazing thought to me, because I'm in love with a song from Prince of Egypt called Through Heavens Eyes. Because those are they eyes I strive to see myself through. Because God has granted me the amazing gift of seeing my friends through his eyes. Sometimes I struggle with it, yes. Sometimes I refuse to believe what I'm seeing or ignore it or take it for granted, yes. But God has granted me that gift to see others that way. Yet I've never allowed myself to look at me that way. I look through my looking glass of "I'm not worthy", of "Why would someone care for me?", of "Idiot", "Monster", "Crazy", "evil, sinner, wrong."

Basically, what I'm trying to get it at is this. I'm saying, "Go suck it Justin, you're awesome no matter what you say about yourself. Yeah, you're gonna mess up sometimes. That won't make you an idiot. Yeah, you're gonna do things you regret. That doesn't make you a bad person. But you know what? You're just gonna say, ShabbleFRACK" (because sometimes it's more fun to make up a curse word than to actually swear) And say, "SHABBLEFRACK," again just for emphasis, "Justin, gosh darnnit, you're still awesome because you do things like make up swear words, hold the door open for people to go through, make people smile on a daily basis, laugh like there's no tomorrow, love everyone around you, and you're going to sing your heart out because that's what you do. Those are the things I love about you, and I've heard some other people say they love that about you too. Justin, just say Flibblegack and remind yourself that you're awesome Justin. You deserve it."