If I were a penguin, then maybe I wouldn't get so cold.
If I were a turtle, then maybe I could let life pass me by.
If I were a dragon,then maybe I'd be bold.
If I were an eagle, then maybe I'd soar through the sky
If I were a jackal, then maybe I wouldn't feel so bad.
If I were a warrior, then maybe I'd be strong.
If I were a lover, then maybe I'd forget when things were sad.
If I were a dreamer, then maybe this night wouldn't seem so long.
But if I were a penguin, maybe I'd wish I could fly?
But if I were a turtle, maybe I'd wish I could run?
But if I were a dragon, maybe I'd wish I could cry?
But if I were an eagle, maybe I'd wish I could settle down?
But if I were a jackal, maybe I'd wish I could be sure?
But if I were a warrior, maybe I'd wish for the pain to stop?
But if I were a lover, maybe I'd wish for adventure?
But if I were dreamer, maybe I'd wish this dream would end?
So, maybe, just maybe I don't have to be any of these?
Maybe, just maybe, being me will put my mind at ease?
- The ramblings of someone who cannot sleep.
I wrote this on a sleepless night in December 2009, sometimes I'm awesome.
Sometimes I still wish for things to be different, that I was someone else. That the person I am, the way I think.. wasn't the way it is. I'm an insomniac more often than not, I'm anxious more often than not, I'm afraid, tired, beaten, in pain, feeling broken, more often than not. Yet...I've started realizing(apparently again) that being me is the quickest path to happiness. Surrendering to myself, accepting that at times I am weak; realizing that's what is even more important is that it's okay to be weak.
Wiling away my days(or even worse, my nights) just dreaming, hoping, trying to will my life to be different. These things just bring their pains and sorrows while at best, doing nothing to ease my other pains and at worst aggravating all my previous wounds letting them grow and fester.
So maybe, just maybe, I'll let me be me. I'll accept me. It might suck at times, but it's better than the alternatives. Sometimes I'm not sure who I am, but I know that suppressing myself will not allow me to find out. Being me is scary, but being me is what bring me happiness. I won't always be the best, I may not always be good enough, and sometimes I'm just gonna down right suck at life. That's going to be hard, but never anything I can't handle. Perhaps I'll be able to be me unfettered. Perhaps, this will put my mind at ease.
If I were a turtle, then maybe I could let life pass me by.
If I were a dragon,then maybe I'd be bold.
If I were an eagle, then maybe I'd soar through the sky
If I were a jackal, then maybe I wouldn't feel so bad.
If I were a warrior, then maybe I'd be strong.
If I were a lover, then maybe I'd forget when things were sad.
If I were a dreamer, then maybe this night wouldn't seem so long.
But if I were a penguin, maybe I'd wish I could fly?
But if I were a turtle, maybe I'd wish I could run?
But if I were a dragon, maybe I'd wish I could cry?
But if I were an eagle, maybe I'd wish I could settle down?
But if I were a jackal, maybe I'd wish I could be sure?
But if I were a warrior, maybe I'd wish for the pain to stop?
But if I were a lover, maybe I'd wish for adventure?
But if I were dreamer, maybe I'd wish this dream would end?
So, maybe, just maybe I don't have to be any of these?
Maybe, just maybe, being me will put my mind at ease?
- The ramblings of someone who cannot sleep.
I wrote this on a sleepless night in December 2009, sometimes I'm awesome.
Sometimes I still wish for things to be different, that I was someone else. That the person I am, the way I think.. wasn't the way it is. I'm an insomniac more often than not, I'm anxious more often than not, I'm afraid, tired, beaten, in pain, feeling broken, more often than not. Yet...I've started realizing(apparently again) that being me is the quickest path to happiness. Surrendering to myself, accepting that at times I am weak; realizing that's what is even more important is that it's okay to be weak.
Wiling away my days(or even worse, my nights) just dreaming, hoping, trying to will my life to be different. These things just bring their pains and sorrows while at best, doing nothing to ease my other pains and at worst aggravating all my previous wounds letting them grow and fester.
So maybe, just maybe, I'll let me be me. I'll accept me. It might suck at times, but it's better than the alternatives. Sometimes I'm not sure who I am, but I know that suppressing myself will not allow me to find out. Being me is scary, but being me is what bring me happiness. I won't always be the best, I may not always be good enough, and sometimes I'm just gonna down right suck at life. That's going to be hard, but never anything I can't handle. Perhaps I'll be able to be me unfettered. Perhaps, this will put my mind at ease.
You know for this reason, of discovering myself & how to handle me, I've always been rather intrigued by mirrors. If others can look in my eyes to see me, can I look at them too to discover myself?
ReplyDeleteWhen I feel like this I tend to seek out people who know me, just to talk or sometimes just for a hug. Besides that prayer is good. But I know that isn't always a practical answer.
I don't know if this helps.
But we know you're awesome!
I like this. A lot.
ReplyDeleteAnd 2DollarBill's comment reminded me of something Todd's sister once told me. She told me to look in the mirror, look myself in the eyes, and tell myself I love me. She told me to do it everyday until I meant it.
At first, just looking in my eyes made me sob uncontrollably. Now, most days at least, I can look myself in the eyes and say, "I love you!" It feels really cool.
I like that poem. And I like the message attached to it. It reminds me of this quote by Dr. Seuss: "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
ReplyDeleteGood job! I like this! Sometimes I think I may be a little of all those things you mentioned and sometimes none of them. I like what Jen and 2Dollar said. (And who can argue with Dr. Seuss) I have long believed that the eyes are the window to the soul, so it makes so much sense to look in your own eyes and find out who you are. "Just be Justin", no more, no less. Love you!
ReplyDelete