"This is juicy!"

This isn't really musical theatre related, but it is about acting. I was able to attend a lecture entitled theatrical justice. I was genuinely worried that when the lecture started he was just a bitter old man who didn't quite achieve the success he wanted, but he was absolutely successful. He was successful because he believed in the integrity of the craft of acting. Obviously I have yet to truly experience the "business" side of acting, but it was wonderful to see someone so excited about trained actors. It was exciting because I absolutely was aware of the excellence of training I'm receiving here at SUU. I'm not sure he knew as well as I did, but he had so much faith in the act of training. It was refreshing.

Afterwards he allowed us to read scenes. And while he didn't come with world changing acting advice. By his own admission he's a terrible actor, but when you've observed good acting for a long enough time, you learn a bit how to coach it. Everything he worked was cold reading. Apparently he hates monologues. He saw me working a bit before the workshop/lecture and offered me a scene to work. My initial reaction was that it was a really heavy scene, filled with passion and anger and I got so excited because it was so juicy! Because it was so juicy I made the mistake of acting "this is juicy" "this is angry" Honestly, it's almost embarrassing admitting that! I've been here 3 years! I know better! He literally jsut told me that. So I got to look at it again, I got to play with it a bit more, recognize that first instincts aren't necessarily right. I got to go in and do good work. He gave me a few more scenes. I got to play a bit more, remind myself to look a bit deeper than my surface instincts, go a bit farther, be more specific, and it was just a wonderful day of theater. I loved it. 

Keaton and friends.

It's very liberating watching your friends kill it in class. Keaton specifically killed it. I was so proud of him. I'm not sure he's aware of just how great he really is. But that kid is going places and it's exciting to watch. It's weird when you're old being inspired by those so much younger than you, but inspiration is inspiration. It's frustrating when you know the only difference is he did his crap and for some reason, I didn't. I don't know why I get in my way so much, but I really do. I should stop that.

The other day

So I got called out because I was ill-prepared. It doesn't mean I suck. It means I have more potential than that. So here's what I can do and have done.
 Focus. I'm not very good at it when I'm at home. I can do better.
Be Specific. I believe I have a lot of potential to be a powerful actor, it starts with specifics.
Knowledge: Don't sell yourself short on your homework. It's hard. I know.

Ouch

You know what sucks? Getting called out because you sucked and it being true. Here's to next time.

Musical Theatre

Ahoy people. For the next few months this will be a blog devoted to thing I'm learning in Musical Theatre! This is exciting to me. First, because I've gotten out of the habit of sharing my life and I'm looking forward to attempting to do that; and secondly, because as bad as I am at it and it's a very good thing, especially in acting classes, to write down what you learn, what you feel and what you need to do to take the next step.

And starting with that last idea, I had the terrifying privilege to perform in my class today. It was my first performance and overall, I believe it went very well. I was confident in my choices, I was confident in the music, and I think I brought not just a good vocal performance, but a good acting one as well. I was proud of what I did because knowing me, I've struggled with confidence and preparation, especially in acting classes. (For those that don't know SUU kids bring it, and it's amazing and intimidating)

Of course, we don't learn anything if one simply congratulates themselves. So what I can improve on I'm excited to, because the issues immediately apparent are things I struggle with across all acting. (And life) First, while I can make strong choices I have an issue of committing to them. This fear stunts everything in my performance. It bars full access to the sound I can produce, it stifles my body movements, and denies the specificity required to fully achieve my goals as an actor..

Melinda, my professor, helped me realize first how much tension I was holding within myself. (Surprise!) I don't know if she even realized that; but just in the pushing to find energy for the physical commitment it was in itself an elimination of that physical tension that stood as a barrier. As physical tension dissipated lead to emotional tension making room suddenly more room to breathe and find the power in my voice appeared. However, Melinda pointed out, and I absolutely agree, there was still something holding me back from achieving the success that I truly desire.